Bring Back the Fashion
I jinxed the fashion world with all of my complaining and all went quiet. But thanks to the CFDA Fashion Awards and the LACMA Art + Film Gala, regular sartorial judgement can re-commence. Join me...
Okay I am SORRY. I complained about all of the fashun and she left the building in a huff. For a while there were crickets. No galas, no events, no out of this world Met Ball carpets. Hollywood and its star studded surrounds were as empty as a Barney’s sale rack on Black Friday. Where did the red carpet go?
Well I’m happy to say that after a dry few weeks the LACMA Art + Film Gala and the CFDA awards are bringing a little bit of ladylike glamour back into our lives. Even Kimberly Kardashian - yes she of the new hard nipple bra (let’s break that down below) - gave us full A-list glam.
There are some definite misses but overall these events are worlds away from the gals at Selling Sunset Season 7 (more on that in another post). I’m breaking down my hits and misses this week - let me know your thoughts?
Disclaimer: I do of course realise that fashion is about the joy of self expression, but I am allowed to have an opinion so I am voicing it here. Before anyone tells me off for tearing down my fellow women, I would like to state for the record that I am not tearing the women down. I’m just ripping into their clothes…
CFDA Fashion Awards
Serena Williams - It’s a lot. In my world it’s too much. When you are winning an award for the fashun, you don’t want to look like a….well a…I don’t even know what this is, but I don’t like it. There is too much of the sequins. Too much pouffe, too many jewels. Just too much.
Anne Hathaway -Amy Odell aptly described this look as “burning man couture meets Florida airport gift shop.” For me its the peeping belly button that is the cherry on this very messy cake. But then Ms Hathaway stunned with an outfit change and I adore. Apart from the little doily, barbie frill at the hem, this is effortless elegance. I have nothing to add except by telling Anne that her stylist hits the mark 50% of the time. Only she can decide if those are good stats…
Kim K - Divine. Simple, elegant, interesting and understated, even with the hair. I love it when Kim softens everything and even with this dark, textured leather dress which could go horribly wrong, everything is in its sartorial place. Bravo.
Emrata - I want to love this. I really do. For once Emily Ratajkowski isn’t selling us her chest or her abs or anything else, but this little lemony cream just misses the mark. I think it might be the length. Or the colour. Or both. Well done for trying though Em, I commend you.
D&G - Thank goodness the silver fashion award brings these two looks together. As usual Gwyneth looks great, although she seems to be going to a Women in Tech industry summit, while Demi is going to the afterparty. Confusing but cute.
Winnie Harlow - Hello Fashun! This could be a lot but it feels perfectly curated. The shape, the fabric, the shoes, the jewels, the hair. It’s all working. Unlike Serena who went too far, this is just the right amount. Good job Wins!
Coco Rocha - It’s wild. I know. Some might say too much. But OH how fabulous! This is giving My Fair Lady meets Miss Dior and I am here for it. Only Coco could get away with this much drama. Attention must be paid…
Nicky Hilton - I hate a frill. On a grown woman it’s like a cut line that shortens, distracts and adds weight. Obsessed with this colour on Nicky, especially against the hideous white backdrop of the CFDA signage but the frills cheapens this gown. A column would have been the way to go. Or is she hiding her glam team under there? Not that her face needs any touch ups…
LACMA Art + Film Gala
Kim K - Meh. I know its hot pink but I’m a bit over the gloves and the fit feels like someone staplegunned her into it. Thank you, next.
Salma Hayek - It’s giving Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion and if you don’t know what that is -exactly. Sequins feel a bit tone deaf in the push for a glitter-free future. And that poor little strap is struggling to contain those fabulous breasts. All in all - a solid miss.
Jodie Turner-Smith - Schooling us in how to do an A-list revenge body. I’m still reeling from her split with Joshua Jackson and while I commend how insanely good she is looking, the look itself feels a bit tryhard. I think it’s the contact lenses. Or the nails. Yes maybe it’s the nails…
Billie Eilish - Shame Billie missed the memo that she was going to a gala not a funeral. Maybe she was wearing her sunnies while she read the invite and misunderstood. But this is Billie being Billie so I guess I can’t complain. It just feels more Billie slumber party than Billie goes to the gala.
Greta Lee - So nice to see the actress in something other than a page boy fringe and the Nike Air Max she is constantly saddled with on The Morning Show. I think lace is going to be this festive season’s go to. Stay tuned…
Heidi Klum - Heidi’s halloween looks continue. This time she’s out as a cheerleader’s pom pom. Bless her cotton socks the girl just doesn’t ever hit it for me. There is just too much. Too much hair. Too much glam. Too much white noise. But at least she’s consistent and you gotta love her for an unashamedly OTT approach to dressing.
Seeing the Nipple
Kim Kardashian’s bodywear brand SKIMS has released a bra with a built in nipple. Sigh… I can’t say I’m surprised. This was always coming. The tag line exclaims, ‘Its hard not to look.’ Let’s be honest, that’s what the Kardashian gals are known for - being looked at. But somehow even without all that narcissism this piece feels uncomfortable. What if your nipples don’t look like this? What if you are missing a nipple? What if yours are bigger or smaller? Who is to say this is the ‘right’ kind of nipple? And why should I be asking society to stare at mine? These definitely make a statement. I’m just not sure it’s one that I want my daughter to be subscribing to (for so many reasons). Let me know your thoughts in the comments below…