The Sun is Setting on Selling Sunset
Bigger doesn't necessarily mean better. Especially when it comes to heels, boobs and bitchiness. It seems the hinges have officially come off my favourite reality show...
The new season of Selling Sunset dropped this month and I was excited. If you have been living under some sort of Netflix ban (and let me tell you, I get it) this show is the ultimate in real estate porn with a side of soap opera action. I have loved it from the start. The houses, the LA scenes of ridiculous cars and dogs, the outfits, the drama. At first I was a little cringed out by the two bald hobbits running a harem - sorry office - of beautiful women doing all of the real estate work in their namesake real estate agency. Until I realised they aren’t doing any work at all but rather posturing around a very empty office and even more empty LA mansions. Every now and again an email gets mentioned or an offer letter, but really all these gals are doing is strutting around beautiful homes and drinking champagne.
So this season my friends and I clapped our hands with glee, setting aside binge watching time in our calendars to properly inhale the season. And oh how boring it was. I almost didn’t write about it because I’ve been so bored.
Where are the appetisers? The layers? The cliff hangers? The plot twists? Why is the weak storyline (of which there really is only 1) served to you on a sickly sweet, glittery platter with a side of breast implants and stripper heels? Don’t get me wrong, all of that is fabulous, but not without some substantial drama. I like my fluffy tv with a spot of substance thank you very much.
At first I was a little cringed out by the two bald hobbits running a harem - sorry office - of beautiful women doing all of the real estate work…
And why is everything so vague? It’s like when the Kardashians started alluding to issues rather than sharing them with their audience and, ‘being real’ as they used to say. I now have to go and stalk Mary on instagram to find out why she’s crying about being overworked. Because in one episode she’s having a full meltdown and in the next she’s moved on and I’m expected to keep up. Amanza might have cancer? Or she might just have gone for a scan. No one really knows. And when a character finally confronts another about a potentially interesting situation (after a lot of WWE smack talk in previous scenes) there is so much ‘she said’, ‘so-and-so told me’, ‘why didn’t you call to tell me’, etc. etc. that I get lost and lose interest.
Then of course everybody has a childhood sob story that has been triggered by the empty lifestyle choices of their co-workers. Bree has triggered Chelsea with her baby-daddy, broken home lifestyle choice. Chelsea has been a bastion of ‘the future is a strong female’ mentality so why is she getting all weepy over a single mom situation?
Amanza (not a name, but yes her real name) has been triggered by comments Chrishelle (surely also not a real name?) has made about alleged drug use by Nicole. Why? Because her kids might hear and then think their mommy is on drugs. Well Sweetie if we are going to get into it- your kids might see the TV show that you are on and wonder why you are hanging out with these strange ladies in the first place. Is this where you want your daughter to get her life inspiration from? A graveyard of hot air and lip filler?
And speaking of bones - the body types in this show are making Manga characters look scruffy. From the breast implants to the lip implants, it’s all just gone tits up. Obviously this visual candyland has always been a key part of the show, but when I could barely recognise some of the characters in the first episode (Mary) I realised it’s probably not something I would let my daughter watch.
Then there is the fashion. I will admit that I loved Christine’s looks of excess. The cellphone chairs and the sky-high heels. But with all the characters engaging in a battle for the show’s most uncomfortable/ridiculous outfit, this stops being a calling card. It has reached such insane levels of prep and flesh that it is obviously trying to camouflage the lack of content. When Chelsea can’t even sit down in her Diesel skirt you know we have a problem. Because as much as Christine was the beautifully dressed evil villain, back then each personality was a character in their own right. Some more put together than others but, a bit like the Spice Girls, there was the barbie, the girl next door, the sporty one, the sexy one, the trendy one. Season 6 is sadly full of Barbie 2.0, with each pair of implants trying to outdo the next in breaking free of the flimsy scraps of fabric holding them in. And yes we could say that each look brings a show-stopping moment of sartorial bliss to the show’s viewers. But how many of these do we need to see before they start becoming the new normal?
You know it’s bad when the OTT $72 million penthouse apartments start to look sensible. This season I found the segments of flashing real estate wealth oddly comforting in the midst of all the fast-fashion outfit changes. I saw a photo of season 1 recently and oh the fresh-faced innocence! The heels and hair extensions were there but Maya is in a strap top and basically tailored tracksuit pants for goodness sake. And Christine looks like a hostess at The Olive Garden. Delightful.
So “Will you stop watching?” I hear you ask. The jury is still out. At this point I feel that some of Succession’s writers are due a holiday and should come doodle some basic plot lines into more of a lifestyle series- with actual characters, a script and a storyline. Then we can call it Gossip Girl and move on with our days, happy in the knowledge that our time wasted, is time well spent.
Let me know what you think in the comments below. Selling Sunset Sell out or are you a Selling Sunset fan for life….?
I know I shouldn't, but I'll keep watching for sure :)
Couldn't have said it better! 100% agree :)